I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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