hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
