i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I can't turn off my feet"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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