Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
