My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
