Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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