she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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