I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
