we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
