i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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