sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize
