Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
