They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
