You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize