I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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