I cannot find my penis.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
