I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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