I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
