I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize