dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
