you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
