she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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