I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
MIDGETS
????
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
