I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize