the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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