Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
