I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize