I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
