Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
