I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
