Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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