Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
