I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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