The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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