Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize