i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
