So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You dont lie about slip and slides
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
