ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
