Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
