remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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