I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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