hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
babies were throwing up all over the place
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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