Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
where are my eyebrows?
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