last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
