Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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