her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
My ass is underappreciated
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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