We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Boobs are out for the taking
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
do nipples grow back?
Randomize