i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you never un-have a 4some
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
