Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
