he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Randomize