How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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