When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize