you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
