That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
