you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize