I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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