HIV tests are more positive than that guy
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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