now i know why i became what i already was.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I intend to get homeless drunk
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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