Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
