4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
