She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just found puke in my bra..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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