So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
