my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize