Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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