What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
