its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
