I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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